The Awesome Coffee Club

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

stars-moon-and-sky asked:

They are advertising other coffee companies on YOUR website!

This is a cool coffee company because they put guns on all their packaging and have a roast called “Thin Blue Line.”

What a good fit for tumblr! These people are advertising geniuses!

So yeah you can drink that crap to vice signal your love of firearms, or you can drink much better coffee sourced directly from small farmers’ collectives and 100% guarantee no guns on the packaging.

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

silverysongs asked:

Hi, I know you're an unpaid intern for the Awesome Coffee Company, but I needed to tell you this. I work at a publishing company and I was working on a book about children's literature and there was an entry on John Green, and it talked about how he wrote The Anthropocene Reviewed, which covers everything "from QWERTY keyboards and sunsets to Canada geese and penguins of Madagascar." But I corrected it to Penguins of Madagascar because I know what John Green's favorite movie is (or at least what he thinks is one of the best movies of all time) and for a brief moment I felt very triumphant.

Thank you for doing this.

I have absolutely no interest in penguins of Madagascar, not least because they do not exist.

But Penguins of Madagascar does exist, and is indeed the single-most complex and multitudinous film thus far made about the anthropocene.

Had you not corrected this error, people would’ve thought I believed in something that is not real. But because of you, people know that this coffee company is a sophisticated coffee company with fine taste.

High one.

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

Just talked to my psychiatrist and they were like, “You seem so happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.”

And I was like, “So, this is gonna sound weird, doc, but I actually shed my human skin and discovered that deep down I am a coffee company? That donates its profit to charity? And ever since then, I’ve just been doing so well.”

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

This coffee company is grateful for the minor blessings of 21st century American life. (And to the educators and librarians fighting against censorship.)

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

some personal news: I have received my first pornbot. A real rite of passage. I feel like tumblr has truly accepted me now.

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

strictly-script asked:

Thoughts on unpaid internships?

I made you a flow chart.

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

improve your coffee life, while also avoiding the big questions.

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

worth it. awesomecoffeeclub.com

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

[captainofthenautilus]

Any time anyone does something in an attempt achieve immortality, or to make their mark on the human story, I’d like to be able to go to their house and sit next to them on the couch and just whisper in their ear, “You know we’re just ants, right?”

We’re just ants, okay?

Just be nice to each other.

We’re- we’re ants-

Zoom out a little bit

and look at us.

We’re trying so hard.

Like, each of us.

Can’t you just-

Just try to be nice to- to us.

We’re just ants.

See Results

-John Green, Dear Hank and John episode 359, “Converted to Goldendoodles”, converted to poll form by me

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

This actually becomes quite beautiful when you organize it by poll result.

Just be nice to each other.

We’re just ants.

We’re trying so hard.,

Just try to be nice to - to us.

Zoom out a little bit.

We’re just ants, okay?

We’re … we’re ants.

And look at us.

Like, each of us.

Can’t you just…

[The Awesome Coffee Club]

ollie-garden asked:

Do NOT. Sell coffee to Tumblr.

Okay.